So hard...

January 4, 2009: Sam and I went to see Sophia around 5:30 tonight and it was so unbelievably hard. They had to shave part of her head to put the IV in because they couldn't get it started anywhere else. The nurse said her blood levels were really, really low and that's why it was so difficult to get the IV in place. She told us that Sophia fought and cried the entire time. That was heart wrenching to hear. It's so hard to know that she is feeling miserable - no food, IV in her head, and we didn't get to hold her, or even touch her. Today was the hardest day for me out of the entire time she's been in the hospital.
Tomorrow Sophia will get a new resident and attending. There are so many questions to be asked and hopefully answered. What caused her to start throwing up green again? Why did her blood level drop so drastically from her last lab on Thursday? Is this something that can happen again later after she gets home? What is the plan of action for her care? When she gets to start eating again, what amount will she start at? (she was at 65cc and the nurse tonight said she thought they'd probably only start her off at 10-15cc) Will she need a blood transfusion? If part of her bowel is supposedly not working, then how is she still having bowel movements?
I just feel so unbelievably stressed, worried, sad, and anxious. It hurts to know that I can only stand by and watch. I just wish I could make her better, or comfort her at the very least. She's a little fighter and I hope she can really bounce back from this. I pray that the doctors tomorrow will be able to shed some light on the situation and help to comfort Sam and myself. Everyone, please keep our family in your prayers, but mostly pray for Sophia - that she can be healed quickly.